Flipping Priorities: Why Self-Care Should Come First

It’s easy to fall into the trap of prioritizing work above all else. Our culture teaches us to believe that success is measured by how much we achieve in our careers. As a result, we often find ourselves neglecting other aspects of our lives, including our relationships with our spouses, our children, and most importantly, ourselves.

The traditional priority list typically looks something like this: work comes first, followed by obligations to our children, then our spouses, and finally, if there’s any time left, to ourselves. To self-care. But what if we flipped this order on its head? What if we started with self-care?

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. It’s about taking the time to nurture our physical, emotional, and mental well-being so that we can show up as our best selves in every aspect of our lives. When we prioritize self-care, we’re better equipped to handle the challenges of juggling work, family, and relationships.

Putting self-care first doesn’t mean neglecting our responsibilities; rather, it means approaching them from a place of strength and resilience. When we’re well-rested, mentally refreshed, and emotionally balanced, we’re more productive at work, more patient with our children, and more attentive to our spouses.

After self-care should be our spouses. Our romantic relationships are the cornerstone of our family life, and they require nurturing and attention to thrive. When we prioritize our spouses, we show them that they are valued and loved, strengthening the foundation of our family unit.

Following our spouses, we should prioritize our children. By placing them as the third priority, we’re not diminishing their importance but rather acknowledging that they benefit most from parents who are emotionally and physically present. When we take care of ourselves and nurture our relationships, we’re better able to provide the love, support, and guidance that our children need to flourish. As Dr. John Gottman famously said, “The greatest gift a couple can give their baby is a loving relationship.”

Finally, work comes last. This might seem counterintuitive in a society that places such a high value on career success, but when we prioritize work above all else, we risk burning out and sacrificing our well-being and relationships in the process. By putting work last, we create boundaries that allow us to maintain a healthy work-life balance and prevent our jobs from consuming every aspect of our lives.

Flipping the traditional prioritization hierarchy isn’t about neglecting our responsibilities; it’s about reclaiming our time and energy for the things that truly matter. When we prioritize self-care, we’re better able to show up for our spouses, children, and careers in a way that’s sustainable and fulfilling.

So let’s make a commitment to put ourselves first, not out of selfishness, but out of a deep understanding that when we take care of ourselves, everyone in our lives benefits. It’s time to flip the script and prioritize self-care as the foundation for a happy, healthy, and balanced life.