In marriage, we often bring expectations with us—about communication, finances, family, intimacy, roles, conflict, and what married life will look like. Sometimes we’re aware of those expectations; sometimes we simply assume our partner sees things the same way. Often, we don’t discover the differences until they become a source of conflict.
That’s one of the reasons I use the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment in premarital counseling. It gives us a structured way to look at your relationship, identify your strengths, uncover areas that may need attention, and start important conversations before those differences become bigger problems.
Here’s how the process works:
- Introduction to PREPARE/ENRICH: I’ll explain the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment and how we’ll use it as part of your premarital counseling. The assessment looks at important areas of your relationship, including communication, conflict resolution, finances, intimacy, family and friends, roles and responsibilities, and expectations for marriage.
- Completing the Assessment: Each of you completes the assessment individually. Your responses give us a picture of how you each see the relationship, including areas where you’re already strong and areas where your perspectives may differ.
- Understanding Your Results: We’ll review the results together and identify your relationship strengths as well as areas that may benefit from further discussion. The goal isn’t to determine whether you’re a “good” or “bad” couple—it’s to help you understand each other better and recognize potential challenges before they become recurring problems.
- Starting Important Conversations: Your results provide a starting point for conversations about the issues that matter most in marriage. We may explore expectations about money, communication, conflict, sex and intimacy, family relationships, parenting, roles, or other areas that are important to the two of you.
- Building Relationship Skills: Premarital counseling isn’t just about identifying potential problems. We’ll also build practical skills for communicating effectively, managing disagreements, listening to each other, and staying connected when life gets difficult.
- Addressing Areas of Concern: If the assessment highlights areas of disagreement or concern, we’ll take the time to understand what’s underneath them. Rather than waiting until these differences create problems in your marriage, we can work on them now and develop ways of handling them together.
- Creating a Stronger Foundation: Throughout the process, we’ll build on what you’re already doing well while strengthening the areas that need more attention. The goal is to help you enter marriage with a better understanding of each other and the skills to navigate the inevitable challenges that come with building a life together.
Premarital counseling isn’t about predicting whether a marriage will succeed or fail. It’s about giving you the opportunity to have the conversations that are easy to avoid when you’re dating and helping you build on the strengths you already have as a couple.
Give your marriage a head start. Reach out today to take the first step toward building a strong foundation for your life together.
Michael D. McVey, LMFT 